My Indian classmate
thoughts and stories of the girl with kaleidoscope eyes
the.hashpipe (at) gmail; say hi!
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I want so badly to believe that there is truth, that love is real
So I’m growing older. Ok dumb comment, who isn’t. I’m coming to the end of teenhood yet I feel I haven’t done a shite that teens are supposed to do. Exhilarating things like stealing your neighbor’s bike and then biking down to the park screaming at the top of your lungs, cussing at people who piss you off. Small things here and there like even I don’t know, writing love poems and passing them anonymously to people. Childish, but totally rites of passage. And I haven’t done jack. All I’ve been doing is studying. Sure, I occasionally mess around with Photoshop, Illustrator, music (all that band jazz), etc. but I don’t know, I feel like my life has just been one entire CV.
(My words don’t flow well anymore, everything just comes out awkward but I hope you still get what I mean.) I feel like everything has been all about lists; collecting items to tick them off the list. And no, it’s not even my bucket list. My bucket list, ironically, is completely blank and unticked-off as of yet.
I don’t know but it feels like time is leaving me behind. And I don’t want to catch up with it.
I need you so much closer.”
Today was the last day in Lab 2. We’re moving to the new building. I’ve had to lug my viscerocranium and also a whole box of tools home on the bus. I don’t know but somehow it still hasn’t set in that I’m going to be a dentist.
Wow, is all I can say.
(via fuckyeahskinnybitch)
I can do this
I can finish this bloody chapter today. So that I will have cleared a third of Oral Bio. I can totally do this. I wanted to reward myself in a ‘if you finish this chapter you get a scone tomorrow’ kind of fashion but I realized there was nothing stopping me from eating a scone sans the calories, which cannot be removed with my completion of an Oral Bio chapter. In that vein, I do not deserve an additional scone on top of that which I’m already intending to consume.
Anyway, I got my tickets for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Cat Power, and Muse already. Anyone here going?
My nose is running mad
It feels like it won’t stop running. And I feel like a sick kid who should skip school tomorrow. But oh, there’s dreaded lab and I cannot miss lab else I’ll be behind time once again, after having caught up only with much difficulty and luck.
Oral biology is driving me mad. I reach my cramming limit so early on each time I try to read Berkovitz that I feel it’s going to be very hard for me to make my way through the 150 odd pages we have to go through.
In other news, I want to go out tomorrow night but I have no friends. Limz and Prav wanna study, Ge’s in Europe, Niggole doesn’t wanna go out, and I don’t know maybe I should just try the army boys though I really want like girl time. I miss Mel, Lyds, Suze and Jane so much though like I don’t know, maybe it’s just being exacerbated by the fact that nobody wants to hang out tomorrow. And I want to go for the Juice 11th Birthday Party AND watch Goodfellas at Timbre @ Arts House.
I’m always lonely on Fridays. This is not good.
This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her but you don’t.
You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful but she don’t mean a thing to me.
Yeah, she is beautiful but she don’t mean a thing to me.
I spent two weeks in Silver Lake
The California sun cascading down my face
There was a girl with light brown streaks,
And she was beautiful but she didn’t mean a thing to me.
Yeah, she was beautiful but she didn’t mean a thing to me.
I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking,
As we moved together in the dark
And all the friends that I was telling
All the playful misspellings
and every bite I gave you left a mark
Tiny vessels oozed into your neck
And formed the bruises
That you said you didn’t want to fade
But they did, and so did I that day
All I see are dark grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask “Is something wrong?”
I think “You’re damn right there is but we can’t talk about it now.
No, we can’t talk about it now.”
So one last touch and then you’ll go
And we’ll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
and you are beautiful but you don’t mean a thing to me
yeah you are beautiful but you don’t mean a thing to me
Dearest 2013,
We should have named our band The Hunter-Schreger Band.
:D
